Maddie Petrash

We got Maddie, or as I frequently called her "Madeline Judith Petrash," right before Christmas my sophmore year of high school. I had begged my mom for a dachshund. She had always said "no inside dogs." But I was persistent, and she gave in. Maybe she realized I'd be moving out of the house in a couple of years and she would want company. I don't know. But we had our Maddie, and we loved her.

I remember when I was a sophmore at UT (never forget because it was my first TX/OU weekend). Jen called to tell me that Maddie was paralyzed. We knew it was a risk with dachsunds because they have bad backs and we let her jump more than we should. That was hard. But she had surgery and slowly, but surely, she started walking again. Granted - she was never quite the same, but for a few years she seemed almost back to her old self.

The last couple of years, her health has just gone downhill. She was my mom's old lady. Recently, her back legs stopped working, and we started preparing ourselves for the inevitable. It doesn't matter if you are ready for it or not because it still hurts like hell.

Maddie died yesterday evening. We had her for 12 1/2 wonderful years. She was a great dog.

I found last night to be extremely hard. I was in NYC for a conference. I was already set to fly back last night around 8. I was anxious because I missed Charlie. Jason is also out of town, so my mom had come up to Austin to stay with Charlie for 2 days. I called my mom as I waited to board the plane, and immediately I knew something was wrong. She told me that my dad had called her and told her Maddie was not doing well. Ok, at this point, I told myself it's fine because this was probably the 4th or 5th time my mom has said something similar to me over the past 2 years. Jen told me she was on her way to the house to check on Maddie for herself. A little while later, she called me and told me the news. I was shocked.

I was upset but more than anything I felt so much guilt. Guilt that my mom missed out on her chance to tell her companion goodbye. I was so glad that my dad and sister were there during her last moments though. I hope she wasn't scared. I called my mom, and she actually sounded ok. She said she was actually partly relieved that she wasn't there because she didn't want to remember Maddie that way. I understand that, and maybe everything happened this way for a reason. I sat on the stupid plane that got delayed for various reasons for over 4 hours and just thought and it was agony. I wanted to talk to one of my family members. I was so glad to have my mom at my house when I got home so we could hug and cry together. I know Jason would have comforted me, but Maddie wasn't his dog, so it wouldn't be the same.

I could not be more thankful for my dad and sister, taking care of everything so that my mom would not have to deal with it when she got home today. I know it was hard for them.

I know the next few days will be hard, for my mom especially, but we have been through it before.

Maddie was a part of our family, and she will be greatly missed.